Middle Age Spread and Beds

So, I always thought middle age spread meant your body gets wider during middle age.  But I have discovered the truth.

The bed gets wider.

And not because of wider physiques.

It’s because of the growing population of pets that invade the bed.


We bought a king size mattress because we let the dogs sleep with us.

I know.  I know.  Cesar would be appalled.

But it saves on the heating bill.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

It was a big decision to get a king, because the size of the bedrooms in this house are about 1/10th the size of Donald Trump’s guest bathroom…

for his pool house.

We had to remove the “night table” next to my husband’s side of the bed.


I wonder what it’s called when mattress takes over bedroom before middle age.

There was a point during our accidental family bed years that we had two full size mattresses on the floor in our bedroom.  I can’t even remember what else could possibly have fit in that room!  Maybe we just didn’t wear clothes back in those days. 

I’m kidding.  We may be considered a little nuts because of the family bed thing (amongst other things), but we I don’t generally walk around without clothes on when the kids are around.  DH…well, he’s another story.  He does have clothes but sometimes he seems to forget that it’s okay to wear them 😉 .  (“Hide your shame, Homer!”).   I assume it is only because we don’t have any female spawn.  Maybe he’s trying to make sure that the boys don’t feel uncomfortable with nudity.  Or maybe it’s the dogs he’s worried about.

But I sure wish he would make sure the curtains are closed before he walks around like that!

Or charge viewing fees.


I recently heard someone talking about how she felt like such a vagrant because she didn’t have the headboard on her bed yet.

I can’t imagine what she would think of us.

I recently disassembled the headboard.

We haven’t had the bed on a frame for years now.

And recently, I dragged the boxspring out to the side of the road and took a hammer and crowbar to it.

No headboard.

No bedframe.

No boxspring.

And we let the dogs sleep with us.

Can you imagine the look on that woman’s face if I’d told her that?

We are the scum of the earth, ya know.

I wonder what she thinks of Japanese culture.


Don’t forget about Make It Happen Mondays.  I know.  I’m getting a little lazy about posting it.  I accept no blame for it though 😉 .  And just you wait.  If you think that’s lazy, you’re gonna love it when I just make it a permanent post in the sidebar (and nowhere else).

See what getting a new mattress does to ya!

This entry was posted in Make it Happen Mondays, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Middle Age Spread and Beds

  1. Shannon says:

    Hahaha! I love your house, your dogs and your family! Don’t change. You all are amazing!

    • tragical40 says:

      Aha! A real witness to the madness 😉 ! You didn’t mind sleeping on just a mattress, did you? Of course, you were a bit of a vagrant at the time 😉 .

      • Shannon says:

        Oh, not at all. Much better than the ground, and not worrying about if it was going to rain in the middle of the night and having to zip up the hammock made sleeping all the more peaceful. Plus, waking up to pancakes was GLORIOUS!

  2. purplume says:

    Ha, I started thinking Japanese as your post unfolded also.
    We used to have a family bed. I think sleeping next to a warm body is so comforting.

    • tragical40 says:

      I should’ve asked you about where to get a good foldable-type mattress! I bet you know all about these things! Weird how I didn’t even make the connection until you said it!

    • tragical40 says:

      It’s crazy how much controversy there is over family beds! The only stories you ever hear about them are the horror stories of some parent who rolled over on their child. They never even bother to cover the side of the story that would tell you how to avoid such problems. How come they never ask people who have been successful with it?!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s