I think I’ve figured out a way to cope with the onslaught of political ads.
Every time I see an ad I think about constructing a “tutorial” on “How to Compose a Political Ad”.
It amuses my feeble mind. And I think my spouse is probably quite happy to have relief from the relentless bitching about the commercials.
Composing a political ad really must be simple. After all, they all seem to have been created by a simpleton. And I do mean a simpleton, because it’s apparent that the original political ad has been copied over and over again. (I guess I must be a simpleton too, since I figured it out! Doh!).
(Just a little sidebar here. Remember the T-shirts that used to be around…”I’m with Stupid”…had an arrow pointing to the side. Wouldn’t that make a great political t-shirt? Very bi-partisan, I should think.).
So, anyway, here are the steps to make your very own political ad. (Feel free to chip in…the tutorial is still in the development stage).
1. Copy any political ad out there.
2. Delete the other candidate’s name and replace it with your name.
3. Exchange pictures of the other candidate with your own.
4. Above all, be sure to include the statement that you approve this message! Because what would the ad mean to us otherwise?! (Who came up with that one, anyway?).
If you wish to start from “scratch”, here are a few suggestions:
1. Be sure to include these words and phrases about yourself: change, new direction, tax cuts, I’m just like you, bi-partisan, work together, family, God, country.
2. Include this word about your opponent: unconscionable…while showing a picture of him/her wearing a “sinister” smile. Play ominous music in the background and show video clips in black and white.
2. Imply that you have lived in the immediate area your entire life and that your opponent hasn’t.
3. Imply that your opponent is involved with something illegal or immoral. Draw from your own past to come up with something.
4. Promise. (Notice how I’m being vague about what to promise).
5. And again, above all, be sure to include the statement that you approve this message!
There, now doesn’t that sound like fun? Now if I can just come up with a way to cope with Christmas commercials in September, Back-to-School advertisements in June, and tailgaters, I’ll be all set!